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Crazy Donald 2

Crazy Donald 2
(Tune of “Fascinatin’ Rhythm”)

Crazy Donald, what’s the matta?
You’re a person quite non grata
Crazy Donald, we’ve got news for you.

When you coddle alt-right nazis
Do ya think we’re spineless patsies?
We’ve got lots of ways of losing you.

Though you threaten fire and fury
in your demented tweets
We won’t cry and moan and worry,
We won’t retreat
We’ll yell in the street!

Crazy Donald it’s our mission
We’re the loyal opposition
Soon we’re gonna see the last of you!

CRAZY DONALD 1

CRAZY DONALD (1)
(TUNE OF OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM)

Crazy Donald had a plot–E-I-O-my god!
It might work or it might not–E-I-O-my god!
Put a wall up here, put a wall up there
Here a wall, there a wall, ev’rywhere a wall wall
Crazy Donald had a plot–E-I-O-my god!

Crazy Donald had a plan
E-I-O-my god!
Nuke Korea and nuke Iran
E-I-O-my god!
Kill a fam’ly here, kill a fam’ly there
Here a corpse, there a corpse, ev’rywhere a corpse corpse
Crazy Donald had a plan–E-I-O-my god!

Crazy Donald had a dream–E-I-O-my god!
Smash Obama’s health care scheme–E-I-O-my god!
With a sick boy here and a sick girl there
Here a pang, there a gasp, ev’rywhere a cough cough
Crazy Donald had a dream–E-I-O-my god!

Crazy Donald made some pacts–E-I-O-my god!
He’d make up all brand-new facts–E-I-O-my god!
With a falsehood here and a falsehood there
Here a lie, there a lie, ev’rywhere a lie, lie
Crazy Donald drove us nuts–E-I-O-my god!

(last verse higher)
Crazy Donald locked the gates–E-I-O-my god!
Screwed the kindly welfare states–E-I-O-my god!
But he didn’t count on the pussy cats
who would dog his steps in their pussy hats
till Donald had to abdicate–E-I-O-Thank god!

Asparagus (poem)

Asparagus

It pops up from the bare ground, stiff and ready.
growing by the second
and if you snap it, young and crisp,
you can eat it raw
juicy like the rain
flavor green as spring.

But, if you forget it’s there,
under the pear tree,
at the back of the garden,
or keep too busy in the house,
look out someday and see how,
as a tall, graceful fern,
it reproves you for your lack of love
as a thousand lacy tendrils droop with longing.

8/17

WE DRAW THE LINE!

We* Draw the Line 7/17
(tune: I Walk the Line), Thanks, Johnny

We’ve seen some rotten leaders in our time
Old Tricky Dick and W were a crime
But now we’re deep in spiteful, vicious slime–
We draw the line! We draw the line!

This country used to show a noble face
We were so proud to live in this dear place
But now each day brings on a new disgrace!
We draw the line! We draw the line!

We used to sing and praise our noble land
Where all were equal, glad to give a hand
But now the rich have tax cuts on demand–
We draw the line! We draw the line!

You are the answer, you are the elites!
Just hold your head up high and take the streets.
We won’t be ruled by fiat or by tweets!
We draw the line! We draw the line!

MORE SONGS FOR THE DREARY DAYS OF DONALD

The Wall of Donald

Donald fit the battle of Mexico, Mexico,
Mexico-o-o
Donald fit the battle of Mexico,
Built a wall up to the sky.
Kept the white folks in and all the brown ones out,
Brown ones out, brown ones out—
Kept the white folks in and all the brown ones out,
Cause the wall was so damn high!

You may talk about your hacks from Russia,
You may talk about your FBI;
You might say the Electoral College flunked,
But you can’t say we didn’t try!–O, Lordy,

Donald fit the battle for Texaco, Conoco, Exxon-Mo-obil,
Donald fit the battle for Texaco,
and the windfarms came tumblin’ down!
Donald lost the battle with climate change,
Climate change, climate catastrophe-e,
Donald lost the battle with climate change,
and the sky came tumblin’ down!

When the tin-horn Trump-et began to blow
How we laughed at the goofy clown,
He huffed and he puffed til the wall went up,
and he brought the whole country down! O, Lordy,

Donald had a fit about Hillary, Meryl Streep,
Miss America-a
Donald had a fit about Hillary,
and he lost–but still he won
(How’d he DO that?)
Donald lost the battle with Meryl Streep
Tweeted all night, could not sle-e-e-p,
Got so mad at Hollywood he had it nuked
And the world came tumblin’ down!

Trump’s Wall

Trump Wall 1/17
(Tune: Blue Room)

They’ll build a brick wall
A thick wall,
A sick wall,
that no one brown can penetrate–
To keep our fatherland pure.

Just one small entry
Patrolled by a sentry
Who’ll shoot you if you try the gate–
To keep our fatherland secure.

That great lady in the harbor,
She’s just got to go-o
She carries a torch for
Some fellow name Jo-se!

Fruit trees will sicken
With no one to pick ’em
But our land will be great again,
With walls from sea to shining sea!

THE MONKEY SONG

MONKEY SONG (tune: Swingin’ on a Star) 2/17 Vimeo

Oh, would you like to live in DC,
Where the wild life chatter merrily?
You could hang by your tail from a tree–
Or would you rather be a shark?

A shark is a critter with a mouthful of knives
He gashes and slashes at his will
He bought his job with lots of Russian help
The fix was in, so we were sure to yelp!
‘Cause if you’re swimmin’ around him in the dark
You could get eaten by a shark.

A laughing hyena dyes his hair very bright
His comb-over looks like it’s alive.
His mouth is filthy and his mind pea size–
He watches Fox and then repeats their lies,
So if a laughing hyena is your friend
You’re gettin’ bitten in the end.

Or would you like to live in DC
Where the wildlife dance so merrily?
You could hang by your tail from a tree–
or would you rather be a croc?

A croc is a lizard who’s the king of the swamp
He slithers and wallows in the mire
He thinks the bog is his to be devoured
And all the lady crocs to be deflowered
So if you don’t mind the stink of dirty socks
You may go swimmin’ with the crocs.

A donald’s a duck that tweets much more than it quacks
It brags that it never paid a tax.
He thinks Rash-Putin is his good ol’ bud
He runs the country like he’s Elmer Fudd.
So if your life feels just like a Looney-Toon,
It’s cause your leader is a Loon.

‘Cause all the monkeys aren’t in the zoo
In the White House you meet quite a few
So you see, it’s all up to us
Don’t stay at home and be a wuss!
Let’s all come out and make a fuss!

WEAR YOUR PUSSY HAT

Wear Your Pussy Hat (TUNE:Do the Hucklebuck–SEE CHUBBY CHECKER)

If you’re feelin’ down low
Remember what all cats know
We are mighty queens, so:

Be a clever cat
wear your pussy hat
Doesn’t matter if you’re not a Bernie Democrat–

It’s Mother Nature’s law
To fight with fang and claw
When ev’rything he says or does is stickin’ in your craw.

He says he’ll grab and snatch
At any boob or patch
Because he’s rich and crude and male,
he’s presidential, natch!
We’ll show him we reject’im
We never would elect’im
of all the tomcats in the world,
We never would select’im

So be a clever cat –smash his ego flat
Whatever else you say or do just wear your pussy hat!

Songs for the Season (post-election 2016)

He’s Not My President–
(“How About You?”) This is a song from Babes on Broadway, 1941. Learn it from Youtube,
then sing it with your Raging Granny Group or Barbershop Quartet or whatever . . .

He’s not my president–how about you?
Us, he can’t represent–how about you?
He’s under-qualified–for swabbing out the zoo,
But tact and diplomacy, truth and democracy–
Hasn’t a clue-oo!

We’ll watch him like a hawk–how about you?
Each lying tweet and squawk, from him and his crew.
We can’t wait for him to implode
holding the nuclear code–
We’d all be through!
But we’ll trump him,
Then dump him,
HOW ABOUT YOU?

and this one is written to an old swingin’ number, “Isle of Capri” Catch it by Sinatra.

Song of Love and Loathing
(tune: Isle of Capri)

Our president is a sexist-racist lummox
We have a congress that we can’t abide
Our guvmint’s made us all sick to our stomachs
It’s been a horrible blow to our pride.
It’s not the country we thought we were born in
with all our efforts to tweak it in place;
yet we must wake to the fact every mornin’
and keep a brave little smile on our face.

Lincoln told us all are equal
In this country proud and free
Perhaps he saw the painful sequel
How hard to keep democracy would be.

So we will mourn as we gather together
until the tears have all dried from our eyes
But we won’t let our democracy wither
and we won’t stand for our planet’s demise.

So let’s be patient and kind to one another,
And keep our rights and our values in mind.
Let’s be courageous protecting each other
And cherish those who’ve been left far behind.